I was talking to a friend about the death of her partner’s mother and how the deceased lady’s husband was coping with the loss. This reminded me of some advice that a widow in my book group gave me.
She said that when meeting with a group of her friends, who’d also lost their partners, they all wished they could have their men back for just half an hour. They would spend those precious minutes asking questions like:
- How do you bleed a radiator?
- Where did you keep the spanner and screwdriver?
- Where are the passwords for all the online bank accounts?
- Where are the house insurance documents?
My book group friend was planning to watch YouTube videos to learn how to change the washer in her dripping tap because, “you can’t call a man in for every little job that needs doing”. She advised me to watch my husband when he was doing things like bleeding radiators and to film him with my phone so that, should the worst happen, I’d have instructions to follow.
In any partnership, there is bound to be a division of labour depending on the strengths and weaknesses of each partner. But make sure that you are each aware of the basics of what the other is doing, so that the survivor is not left helpless, should one of you die.
Now, the first thing I have to learn is how to use the video facility on my phone …