Earlier this year I was feeling despondent about my writing. Over the previous three years I’d had the excitement of securing an agent, working with her on two books and then the subsequent deep disappointment when none of her submissions to the big publishers were successful. The whole act of writing seemed a fool’s game: the short story market was shrinking, publishers preferred to invest in well-known names to guarantee book sales and, during lockdown, everyone seemed to have become a writer. I was on the verge of giving up. Then, on social media, I discovered trainee life coach, Elizabeth Scott. I explained that I was at a crossroads in my writing career and didn’t know how to move forward or whether to give up completely. Elizabeth offered me three virtual coaching sessions.
Did the sessions work?
Yes. Elizabeth didn’t offer direct advice on what to do. She didn’t give her opinion on whether I should stop writing and do something more rewarding and less frustrating instead. She didn’t judge whether I was any good at writing.
Instead, she encouraged me to think in a different way. For example, she asked me to draw a circle and put into it the different aspects of my life: work, family, writing, exercise etc. Then she asked what I would like to remove or decrease in that circle and what I wanted to spend more time on. I found that I couldn’t get rid of writing and said that, in a perfect world, I would like to spend more time writing. We talked about NaNoWriMo because in the past that has triggered a burst of enthusiasm for writing. But starting a new novel, after all the disappointments, didn’t appeal. I mentioned the possibility, instead, of drafting one short story a day during November – as long as I had a list of thirty ideas before November 1st. But still I wasn’t sure I wanted to go ahead.
“How will you feel if you don’t take on this challenge?” Elizabeth asked.
“Disappointed in myself for just drifting.”
“How will you feel if you do the challenge?”
“Pleased with myself.”
I had my answer. We agreed that I would begin to find ideas and report back to Elizabeth at our next session. Knowing that I had to report back acted as a great incentive for me and I generated thirty ideas. At the next session I mentioned to Elizabeth that I now needed to find the discipline to force myself to sit down and write these stories.
“‘Discipline’ and ‘force’ are harsh words,” she said. “Try using the word ‘habit’ instead.”
She was right. Saying that I now needed to make writing a habit sounded much more achievable.
Sometimes a fresh pair of eyes, experienced in navigating life’s obstacles, (plus a change in semantics) can send us off with fresh confidence and positivity.
Elizabeth is now a fully qualified life coach, helping people to set and achieve their goals. If there are changes that you’d like to make in your life (writing-related or not), see her website for the offer of a free twenty-minute exploratory chat.