Posts Tagged Arnie Witkin
Bits and Pieces plus a Bookish Competition
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Authors, Books, Competitions on April 11, 2023
I’m writing this in a coffee shop (hence the picture!) and there are a few things to share with you this time (not counting my excitement about this, which happens in exactly a fortnight).
Firstly, I recently heard from a writing acquaintance of mine in South Africa, Arnie Witkin, who has featured on this blog before. Arnie self-published It’s not a Big Thing in Life a couple of years ago. It’s full of interesting life lessons and was written originally for his teenage grandchildren, but the project mushroomed. Initially sales were slow but Arnie contacted me to let me know that The Western Cape Education Department is now distributing his book to each of its 6,000 Life Orientation teachers in the province. Life Orientation is a compulsory subject in schools in South Africa. Which just goes to show that, in this writing life, you never know what is just around the corner. And the only way to find out is to put yourself out there and give things a try!
Secondly, I have a couple of books to recommend. In my book group we’ve just read A Handful of Dust by Evelyn Waugh. It’s the first Waugh that I’ve read and I was pleasantly surprised. It was written in the 1930s and is very easy to read. It contains both humour and darker moments. But the most interesting thing about it is the ending, which comes across as completely out of synch with the rest of the book. Further research indicates that Waugh took an earlier short story and simply appended it to form the ending of the novel (incidentally the short story is reputed to have given Stephen King the idea for his novel, Misery) but the serialisation of the novel has a completely different, tamer ending. I find writing endings extremely difficult – maybe I’m in good company and Waugh did too!
The second book is The Dictionary of Lost Words by Pip Williams. It’s one of those books where you get lost in the story but learn something new too – such as the origin of ‘bumf’ – a handful of paper used as ‘bum fodder’ in WWI in the absence of toilet paper. Set in the early twentieth century it’s a fictionalised account of the publication of the first Oxford English Dictionary. Well worth a read.
Thirdly, the 2023 Marlborough Literature Festival Love Books Competition has just opened for entries. You have until Friday June 30th 2023 to submit up to 750 words about a book that you love and would recommend to others. The winner in each age group (includes adults) receives £300 and the runner-up in each age group will receive £100.
Finally, I have reached the heady heights of being interviewed by the lovely people at The Bookshelf Cafe!
And that’s it for now. Happy reading and writing!
Sexting – Considerations for (Mainly) Girls in a Highly Sexualised World
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Books, Lifestyle, Non-fiction, Promotion on June 29, 2021
Sexting is the sending of a sexual message, photo or video to someone else. It’s not something I usually talk about on this blog. However, it was suggested to me when I discussed the possibility of a guest post with Arnie Witkin to launch his new book It’s Not A Big Thing in Life.
Arnie’s book began as a series of writings for his grandchildren and he gave an early draft to a friend’s granddaughter who was starting university. It had such a positive effect on her that she believed it should be for grandchildren the world over and their parents and grandparents. Hence the eventual publication of It’s Not A Big Thing in Life. The book is full of life advice for those starting out in the world and for those of us already in it! Arnie’s book would make a great present to slip in a student’s backpack to be read and absorbed as needed.
And now for Arnie’s advice on how to handle sexting:
If it hasn’t already happened you will be subjected to requests to send nude pictures or videos of yourself
How will you respond to the challenge of sexting?
If someone you don’t know or have recently met asks you to sext him, consider the simplest possible response. ‘No.’ No discussion.
However, if you are in a relationship, albeit for a short time, and you are tempted, consider that you are totally responsible for yourself. Know that, whatever the state of your current relationship or feelings, these are most likely to change. If a man is scorned, he may well publish those pictures on the internet. So before you completely expose yourself take responsibility for the consequences. I would suggest that you only do it if you are in a loving and trusting relationship, but even then you may want to hide your face. There is no place for naivety.
What if you don’t want to do it? You may feel that if you don’t oblige then you will be excluded. This is more complicated because that has to do with self-esteem and the desire for acceptance.
This is a great opportunity to grow up, assert yourself and build self-esteem. Trust your feelings. If you don’t want to do it then you shouldn’t. If you are ‘dumped’ I can assure you that the person wasn’t worth having, no matter how attractive he may seem. In fact usually the opposite of exclusion happens. Strong people who resist the pressure are admired for it.
Consider taking a firm but non-judgmental approach. ‘I am not happy to send naked pictures of myself.’ If he asks again or ‘why’, simply repeat it. It probably doesn’t pay to take a moralistic or indignant approach. ‘I like you and want to continue the relationship, but please don’t ask me that.’
If he says, ‘If you loved me you would do it’ you most definitely should consider leaving the relationship. ‘If you loved me you would….’ is one of the most selfish and controlling statements there is. It is said purely for the gratification of the person and doesn’t care about your feelings. A good riposte is ‘If you loved me you wouldn’t ask me to do what I don’t want to do.’ If you do succumb and remain in the relationship he will control you until you stand up to him. You may as well do the standing up at the earliest possible opportunity.
Another ploy could be to tell you that everybody is doing it and that you are immature. This is similar to ‘If you loved me…’ You could say, ‘If I wanted my life judged I’d go to a more competent authority.’ Peer group pressure is the greatest pressure in the world. Resisting it is hugely character building. You will be proud of yourself.
If you find the request offensive it is well to remember that offense can be given, but it doesn’t have to be taken. You can decide what you allow to offend you or not. A turd on the side of the road is offensive, but you don’t have to step in it.
Whatever you feel, this is the real world. You can’t stop the sexual pressure, but with focus you can decide on your attitude and response.
You have the power. Don’t surrender it.
It’s Not A Big Thing in Life by Arnie Witkin is available in both paperback and e-book format and has some great reviews. It’s worth a look if you know any young adults or would like a bit of advice yourself on living a better life.
And there’s more information about Arnie on his website.
Sally Jenkins 