Archive for category Lifestyle
The Positivity of Grudges
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Authors, Books, Lifestyle, Non-writing on September 8, 2023
After being inspired by Sophie Hannah’s talk at the 2023 RNA Conference on ‘How to be a Happy and Successful Writer’, I went in search of self-help books by Sophie. I found ‘How to Hold a Grudge‘. The title didn’t inspire me – I was of the mindset that grudges are all about bitterness and negativity but I started reading anyway.
Sophie writes in the same chatty, amusing way that she speaks and the book is very easy reading. And she does not advocate any bitterness or negativity! In a nutshell she advises that when someone acts badly towards us, we should:
- Recognise that a wrong has been done to us
- Acknowledge that we feel angry and/or upset and that it’s OK to feel like this
- Do not try to immediately forgive, forget and move on
- Record the grudge and learn from it. Simplistic examples of this are: accept that Fred is always late when you arrange to meet and therefore turn up a few minutes late yourself instead of waiting angrily, or learn to stop lending books to Jane because it upsets you when they come back damaged. This learning protects us from future hurt by these people.
- Having taken the above steps, we will find that the anger, bitterness, and upset we feel towards that person will diminish.
(Apologies to Sophie if I haven’t got the above spot on. There’s a lot more advice in the book than those few bullet points!)
The book is an absolute delight to read – especially the details of some of Sophie’s own grudges which, having learned from them, she keeps in her ‘grudge cabinet’. However I would say that a much better (and more realistic) title for the book would be ‘The Positivity of Grudges’.
I’ve also read (and learned from) Sophie’s more recent self-help book, ‘The Double Best Method‘, which is all about how to make decisions – great for ditherers like me!
What I Did on my Holiday plus some Hysteria
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Competitions, Lifestyle, Travel on July 27, 2023
Other people’s holidays are boring but I’m writing this anyway to show you that I am a real person and not just a continuous, automatic loop playing ‘buy my book‘!
So here’s a bullet point gallop through my seven days in Suffolk last week:
- We stayed at the aptly named (for me) Old Library in Wickham Market, almost directly opposite the current library – which is actually open on a Sunday!
- The best cup of tea of the week came from the Tea Shed in Walberswick. They serve loose leaf tea in a proper teapot with a jug of hot water on the side plus a timing device to indicate how long the tea should be brewed for.
- Full marks to senior National Trust ranger, Andrew, at Orford Ness for his talk about the rare breed sheep on the site. And even better than Andrew, was his trainee sheepdog, Sweep. Sweep did a great job of rounding up the herd and keeping them together during the talk.
- An unexpected highlight was watching the shipping containers move around the Port of Felixstowe.
They were ferried from giant ships to railway line in perfect synchronicity. I was in awe at the size of everything and at the behind the scenes computer system that must be ensuring that everything is in the right place at the right time. - The weather gods were smiling on us and overturned a dismal forecast to provide lots of sunshine. We went walking everyday and only got wet once.
As a reward for politely reading through all of the above, here’s a reminder about the Hysteria Writing Competition.
The categories are: Short story – maximum 1,000 words, Flash fiction – maximum 250 words and Poetry – maximum 12 lines.
The theme is MAGIC and the prizes are: Overall category winner for each category – £300 plus publication in the Hysteria 10 anthology and the 9 runners up in each category will also be published in Hysteria 10.
Entry is a modest £3 and if you sign up to the competition newsletter, you’ll receive a free copy of Hysteria 3 so you can check out earlier winning entries!
Closing date is August 31st 2023. As always, make sure that you read the full rules before submitting.
#HaveFinishedEditing
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Lifestyle, Resources, Writing on March 28, 2023
The editing of Little Museum of Hope is now complete. It is winging its way off to be proof read. Hurrah!
Daffodils in Chester
Sarah, my Ruby Fiction editor, was full of wise advice and suggestions to improve the overall story arc and pace. She also has eagle eyes that spotted several inconsistencies in the manuscript, such as ages of characters which didn’t tie in with the music I’d mentioned, plus I had someone being 22 in 1981 and 50 in the present day. And I spotted an engagement ring change from sapphire to diamond half way through a chapter. This has taught me that going forward I need to be rigorous in keeping a detailed timeline and lots of notes for each protagonist. Every day is a school day, as they say!
I’ve also been learning about Instagram. You can now find me on there as @sallyjenkinsuk. I don’t have many posts to my name yet but will get more familiar with the platform eventually. If you’re an ‘Insta’ person please drop by and say ‘Hello’.
Since I last posted I’ve also had a big ‘0’ birthday which involved family, gin, a weekend away in Chester with two schoolfriends both hitting the same age (obviously) and prosecco. This leads me to: Never think you are too old to write a novel or to be published: through all the ups and downs of my writing career I’ve never specifically been asked my date of birth or how old I am. But, if you meet me in the flesh, my face might give the game away!
Finally, I spotted a great blog post from Kobo Writing Life on writing a fast first draft. I like to get the first draft completed as fast as possible so that I know the whole story and can then go back and flesh out/delete/change as required. But writing 60 – 90,000 words is never quick. One piece of advice in the blog is to write the whole novel in bullet points in order to get the complete structure down on paper while it’s in your head and without getting bogged down in description, dialogue and all the other minutiae. I am very tempted to try this next time I start a new project.
What do you think, will it work?
Eating for Prediabetes
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Lifestyle, Non-writing on December 16, 2022
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional: this blog post is written based on my own personal experience.
In October 2022 I had a routine blood test and two days later was told that I have prediabetes. According to Diabetes.org.uk: Prediabetes means that your blood sugars are higher than usual, but not high enough for you to be diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. It also means that you are at high risk of developing type 2 diabetes. You are unlikely to be experiencing any symptoms with prediabetes. Prediabetes is also sometimes called borderline diabetes.
Type 2 diabetes happens because insulin can’t work properly, so your blood sugar levels keep rising. This means more insulin is released. For some people with type 2 diabetes this can eventually tire the pancreas out, meaning their body makes less and less insulin. This can lead to even higher blood sugar levels.
Prediabetes is a warning that if you don’t change your diet, you are likely to develop full-blown type 2 diabetes.
Myth: Only fat people get type 2 diabetes.
I have a low BMI and am very active. When I saw the nurse, to be advised on my new diet, she weighed me and told me not to lose any weight.
My new diet is supposed to be low on carbohydrates and sugar but high in protein and fats, with an emphasis on ‘good’ fats such as those found in avocadoes, oily fish and nuts. The nurse impressed upon me that I must remove as much carbohydrate and sugar from my diet as possible. It’s taken some getting used to because I thought my previous diet was healthy.
Breakfast cereal is now off limits. I used to have a bowl of bran flakes plus a Weetabix followed by two slices of toast and marmalade. However, I weighed the cereal I used to eat and it was double the suggested serving of bran flakes plus there was the Weetabix – and it all contains sugars. The nurse suggested a cooked breakfast or lots of full fat Greek yoghurt plus nuts and seeds.
Grape Tree Bran Sticks
My compromise – I’ve ditched the bran flakes and Weetabix and replaced it with 15g of bran sticks from Grape Tree plus some nuts, seeds, dried coconut and some berries. I soak it in milk overnight and it tastes fine. I still have toast but have ditched the marmalade, instead I have either a fried egg, avocado, cheese or sugar free peanut butter on top.
At lunchtime my staple used to be two wholemeal rolls with cottage cheese and tomatoes. I started the new diet by replacing one roll with homemade coleslaw. Now I sometimes don’t have any bread at all. Instead, I have a large serving of coleslaw plus cheese or sardines (in tomato sauce) or chicken plus nuts, tomatoes and whatever else is in the fridge.
The evening meal is the hardest because it always included potatoes or pasta or rice etc. The nurse suggested mashed cauliflower instead of potatoes and it is nice. I’ve been reading various diabetic recipe books and some of the recipes turn out well, others are a bit insipid. And sometimes I do have to let the carbs back in but with the reduction in breakfast and lunchtime carbs, that’s probably OK.
I mostly say ‘no’ to cakes and sweets but fear that will waver over Christmas! The hardest thing is not knowing whether I have adapted my diet enough or too much or whether I need to do more. My GP won’t check again until October 2023.
By the way, I tried making diabetic carrot cake – it wasn’t good. I think the best policy is not to create no-sugar versions of favourite cakes but to have a little bit of the real thing very occasionally. My cauliflower and corned beef hash turned out well though. The experiments continue …
If anybody’s got any tips or tricks, I’d love to hear them!
Life Coaching Benefits
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Lifestyle, Non-writing on November 29, 2022
Earlier this year I was feeling despondent about my writing. Over the previous three years I’d had the excitement of securing an agent, working with her on two books and then the subsequent deep disappointment when none of her submissions to the big publishers were successful. The whole act of writing seemed a fool’s game: the short story market was shrinking, publishers preferred to invest in well-known names to guarantee book sales and, during lockdown, everyone seemed to have become a writer. I was on the verge of giving up. Then, on social media, I discovered trainee life coach, Elizabeth Scott. I explained that I was at a crossroads in my writing career and didn’t know how to move forward or whether to give up completely. Elizabeth offered me three virtual coaching sessions.
Did the sessions work?
Elizabeth Scott
Yes. Elizabeth didn’t offer direct advice on what to do. She didn’t give her opinion on whether I should stop writing and do something more rewarding and less frustrating instead. She didn’t judge whether I was any good at writing.
Instead, she encouraged me to think in a different way. For example, she asked me to draw a circle and put into it the different aspects of my life: work, family, writing, exercise etc. Then she asked what I would like to remove or decrease in that circle and what I wanted to spend more time on. I found that I couldn’t get rid of writing and said that, in a perfect world, I would like to spend more time writing. We talked about NaNoWriMo because in the past that has triggered a burst of enthusiasm for writing. But starting a new novel, after all the disappointments, didn’t appeal. I mentioned the possibility, instead, of drafting one short story a day during November – as long as I had a list of thirty ideas before November 1st. But still I wasn’t sure I wanted to go ahead.
“How will you feel if you don’t take on this challenge?” Elizabeth asked.
“Disappointed in myself for just drifting.”
“How will you feel if you do the challenge?”
“Pleased with myself.”
I had my answer. We agreed that I would begin to find ideas and report back to Elizabeth at our next session. Knowing that I had to report back acted as a great incentive for me and I generated thirty ideas. At the next session I mentioned to Elizabeth that I now needed to find the discipline to force myself to sit down and write these stories.
“‘Discipline’ and ‘force’ are harsh words,” she said. “Try using the word ‘habit’ instead.”
She was right. Saying that I now needed to make writing a habit sounded much more achievable.
Sometimes a fresh pair of eyes, experienced in navigating life’s obstacles, (plus a change in semantics) can send us off with fresh confidence and positivity.
Elizabeth is now a fully qualified life coach, helping people to set and achieve their goals. If there are changes that you’d like to make in your life (writing-related or not), see her website for the offer of a free twenty-minute exploratory chat.
Book Reviewing Opportunities
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Books, Lifestyle on October 5, 2022
If you like reading new books by indie authors this could be the opportunity for you:
Reedsy Discovery is recruiting reviewers. The main Reedsy website is full of resources and freelance services aimed at helping writers at all stages of their journey to publication. Reedsy Discovery is an offshoot of this and is designed to spotlight the gems of the indie publishing world. The reviewers on Reedsy Discovery help to identify these gems. Reviewers are unpaid but they do have the opportunity to monetise their reading by accepting tips from people who find their reviews useful.
Interested? Visit the Reedsy website to find out more and to apply.
If you fancy finding out what it’s like to be a competition judge, The Highland Book Prize, uses keen
The Scottish Highlands
readers from the general public as initial readers. Readers provide a report and scores for each of the books they read and these are then used to compile the longlist for the Prize. Reading for the longlist takes place between July and September each year and has just finished for 2022. However, you can apply now to be on the panel next year. I have now been involved in this for three years and previously blogged about the experience.
Finally, if you enjoy blogging, tweeting and generally shouting about the books you’ve read, NetGalley might be the site for you. Publishers and authors distribute digital review copies and audiobooks to the NetGalley community, and in exchange, members provide reviews, star ratings, social media posts etc. Some publishers on NetGalley will vet reviewers before releasing ARCs (Advance Review Copies) but others are happy for their books to be read more widely. Register online to be a NetGalley reviewer.
Note: In all three cases above, the books are supplied in digital format, i.e. not paper books.
What I Did on My Holidays
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Competitions, Lifestyle, Non-writing, Travel on September 8, 2022
You don’t have the slightest interest in what I, or anyone else, did on their holidays but please bear with me – there is a literary slant to what I have to say, plus it saves me having to write a book, which I did in 2013 and 2021.
Big Water of Fleet Viaduct
This year we drove from the Midlands to Kirkcudbright in Dumfries and Galloway. En route we stopped for coffee in Sedbergh: England’s Official Book Town. Sedbergh is a small place where many of the independent shops have added the sale of secondhand books to their wares. The big attraction for me was Westwood Books which has a stock of over 70,000 titles – antiquarian, secondhand, and some new books. I was tempted by a copy of The Seven Sisters by Lucinda Riley which has been strongly recommended by my sister-in-law. But it’s a very thick book and I have a long TBR list, so I resisted the urge.
On arrival in Kirkcudbright we discovered that Dumfries and Galloway has its own literary connections. It was the setting for The 39 Steps by John Buchan and the viaduct in the photo was used in one of the film versions of the story. And Five Red Herrings, a murder mystery by Dorothy L Sayers, is set in Kirkcudbright itself and the 4-part serial is available on YouTube.
What did we actually do on holiday? Walking, a guided tour plus afternoon tea at Buittle Castle (both were excellent), walking, Raymond Briggs retrospective exhibition at Kirkcudbright Art Galleries, walking, Kirkcudbright Annual Tattoo (marching bands and a stunt motor cyclist!), walking and Kirkcudbright Art Tour.
Kirkcudbright Tattoo
Well done – you made it to the end of my holiday essay!
Finally, you might be interested in this crime writing short story competition. It closes 23rd January 2023 but there’s a reduced early bird entrance fee of only £3 if you enter before 1st December 2022.
Keeping On, Keeping On
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Lifestyle, Writing, Writing Handicaps on June 17, 2022
“Keeping On, Keeping On,” said Alan Bennett. But I’m wondering whether that is always the right thing to do? Should there come a point when it’s best to draw a line in the sand, say, “I tried my best”, and then move onto something else?
I’m going through a dry patch in my writing. You may remember me telling you that I had a second book on submission with my agent and was keeping my fingers crossed. As with the earlier novel, this one also failed to find a home with one of the big publishers. I suggested trying both books with the smaller, digital first publishers. My agent felt unable to add much to this process and therefore we agreed that I would proceed down this route un-agented. I have submitted to several places but, as of this moment, nothing has come of it.
I’ve put a lot of work into getting so near, but yet so far. People tell me that I did well to get taken on by one of the best agents in the country. I understand that and I learned a lot from the process. But it’s still very difficult to get re-enthused about starting all over again on another novel that might also never see the light of day.
I’ve considered returning to short stories and have managed to write two. One’s gone off to a competition and the other one is waiting for a final edit before I try it with The People’s Friend. However, the short story market has shrunk and shrunk and shrunk, so I’m not feeling optimistic.
And, at the moment, the article pitches seem to be landing on deaf ears after a good run of successes.
On a more positive note, I am two weeks into a free Zoom novel-writing course run by Jacci Turner. She’s running the course in the US at 10 am, which is a convenient 6 pm BST but there is an Australian in the cohort joining from a darkened house at 2:30 am! I’m hoping this course might re-ignite my passion and enthusiasm.
But in the meantime I’d love to hear your opinion/advice:
Should I continue ‘keeping on, keeping on’ as a writer or call it a day and find something else? How do you cope with dry patches like this?
The Poetry Pharmacy, Bishop’s Castle
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Books, Competitions, Lifestyle, Poetry, Travel on May 19, 2022
On holiday in Bishop’s Castle, Shropshire, I discovered the Poetry Pharmacy run by Deborah Alma. It’s part cafe, part poetry bookshop, part events space and part therapy; the latter via an appointment with the Poetry Pharmacist.
We’d been walking as part of the Bishop’s Castle Walking Festival and needed coffee and cake when we found the Pharmacy. It doesn’t do the usual lattes, cappuccinos etc. Instead the waitress recommended one of the different coffee blends and then delivered a glass flask of black coffee plus a jug of warm, frothy milk on the side. Similarly, she recommended a tea blend for my husband. We sat for a long time in the quiet, peaceful space, leafing through poetry books and magazines which centred around the calmer side of life. Afterwards, I treated myself to a copy of The Emergency Poet edited by Deborah – and, unusually, the book was cheaper in the Pharmacy than on Amazon. It’s a volume full of poems designed to destress and improve the reader’s state of mind. I will be sharing some of the poems with my Shared Reading Group soon.
Still on the subject of poetry, I’ve come across three competitions open for entries:
The Winchester Poetry Prize for poems on any subject and in any form or style. First prize is £1,000. Entry fee is £5. Closing date is 31 July 2022. The judge is Jo Bell, whom I recently had the pleasure of interviewing about her role in compiling the book On this Day She: Putting Women Back into History One Day at a Time for an article in The People’s Friend magazine.
The Writers Bureau Platinum Jubilee Poetry Competition. This is FREE to enter but you need to be quick: closing date is 31st May 2022. The prize is publication on The Writers Bureau’s website and a course or place on a Zoom workshop of the winner’s choice.
Ironbridge Poetry Competition 2022. This competition welcomes poems on any and every subject. First prize is £300 and the closing date is 31 July 2022. The judge is Simon Fletcher, who is widely-published as a poet and lives in Shropshire. He’s also the manager of Offa’s Press.
In Praise of the Electronic Calendar
Posted by Sally Jenkins in Computers & Technical, Lifestyle, Non-writing on April 1, 2022
Towards the end of 2021 I bought my usual paper calendar and started to jot down the skeleton of my commitments for 2022. In October 2021 I’d started a new part-time job as a library assistant which requires me to work alternate Saturdays. Also in 2021 I became a co-leader of a Shared Reading group – my turn comes around every other Thursday.
I couldn’t be bothered to go through the whole calendar and work out the dates of both of these two-weekly engagements. Then, my husband, who was working away during the week and didn’t have sight of the joint paper calendar, began putting dates into his phone so he had them to hand.
That was my light bulb moment! I stepped forth into the convenience of the electronic calendar and wondered why I’d been a dinosaur for so long.
It was easy to download the Calendar app and I discovered it was possible to set up single events for the library job and Shared Reading and then tell the calendar to schedule the events fortnightly going forward. What a time saver!
I discovered it was possible to make my calendar visible to my husband and vice versa – so we can see if there are any clashes with dates.
I discovered it was possible to set up an event and send an email invite to someone else.
If I’m out and someone suggests a date for our next meeting, it’s easy to check the calendar on my phone and see when I’m free – no more waiting until I’m home to look at the joint paper calendar hanging on the wall.
So far I’ve come across only two disadvantages to the electronic calendar. Firstly, I can’t simply glance at the wall as I walk past to see what’s happening over the next week – I have to remember to check my phone (but you can elect to get e-reminders of events in advance). Secondly, I have a vague fear of the servers belonging to the calendar provider crashing and burning – and taking the whole of my life with them. But the same could’ve happened to the paper calendar hanging in my hall.
Like everyone else, my work life has long been governed by an electronic calendar on the office laptop. It’s just taken me a very long time to make my personal life easier by embracing the calendar on my phone!
I’m using Google Calendar but other electronic calendars are available – as I’m sure you know because you’re probably light years ahead of me in your use of them. Please let me know that I’m not the only one who’s taken so long to embrace technology!
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